𝗜𝗦 “𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗨𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗧𝗬” 𝗔 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡 𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗔𝗡 𝗥𝗘𝗟𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦?

Before we proceed, ‘genuinety’ is not exactly a word found in the English dictionary but well words were curated right and if it serves a purpose for understanding, what harm is there in using it?

Thus, for the purpose of this article we will be using the word ‘genuinety’ as an adjective for the word genuine. In other words, we are exploring if it is possible for there to be human relations that are free from pretense, affectation, hypocrisy or ulterior motives?

Most of us are oblivious to a lot of things about life, we are oblivious to our very own Nature, we know so little about our own bodies, we care so little about the dynamism of things and for a species that takes things too personal, it should be disturbing.

For a people so comfortable in living in a bubble, trying to examine or even question things like human ‘genuinety’ feels like a crime. Of course, we all have had our own taste of “humanity shocks”. Most people have turned unconsciously bitter in self-defense, others continue to walk blindly into human  prepared minefields.

When I think of it, of course I was just born and raised in a religious home, told to focus on my education. I wasn’t prepared for the complicated world of human relations which gets worst with adulthood. The only thing myself and a majority of us were told to watch out for in life was the Devil.

Having had my fair share of “humanity shocks” I’ve grown a little weary about human beings. I have a friend who always suspects and doubts everything and everyone, somedays I admire it because it has saved her in more ways than one. Recently I’m starting to think there’s good reason to always be on guard.

My knowledge of psychology tells me the human has two functional “minds”. The conscious and the subconscious minds, each with their unique roles which run thought processes and actions interconnectedly and simultaneously. The sub conscious mind is the ROM, and the conscious mind is the RAM. So, there’s permanent memory and non-permanent memory. Our lives are generally piloted by the non-permanent memory but controlled and directed by permanent memory.

The human mind basically runs on programming. Things have to be a certain way, go a certain way, be said a certain way to achieve different desired outcomes. Take for example, for you to get employment you must have certain qualifications and possess certain skills. And what’s more disturbing Life is run based on “motives”.

We cook because we are hungry, we work to earn a living, we sleep to rest, nothing is done for nothing. What are the chances therefore that human relations possess ‘genuinety’ with all the qualities listed above? Won’t trying to be genuine simply be shooting yourself in the leg? In a game where personal motives are always present, trying to not have any won’t work out quite well.

This doesn’t go to say personal interest as driving force for all action is totally bad, it’s just a human thing. So it will serve us well to always remember that in our dealings.

This is the part where most people would suggest listening to your mind, being logical and forgetting your heart. I wouldn’t suggest that, use your mind as well as your heart because just like the two minds, one without the other ends in disaster.

The next time you are in a room of smiley faces, a battle front of agitated minds, a situation of conflicting interests, look out for their possible motives so your actions and moves might be in your own best interest as well.

I would love to think of life as a fairytale, but it is a jungle where only the fittest survive, strive to be the fittest.

-Wandji Winifred